Around the Bluhmin’ Town
By
Judy Bluhm
I saw a spider. I went to the bathroom at two in the morning and there sitting on a wall next to the sink was a big mean spider. She had eyes like the devil, glaring at me. It so unnerved me because I imagined it was a black widow. Well, I am the widow now and cannot call out to my husband to dispose of the beast.
My mind was racing. What if that spider crawls out of the bathroom across the bedroom and climbs up into my bed? How can I sleep with a huge arachnid staring at me with evil eyes? I thought about just closing the bathroom door and forgetting about the intruder.
Well, spiders will not be stopped by a door! In fact, their very supple bodies can creep under doors, through the cracks of screens or windows, up through vents. Oh, Lordy help us. Spiders can go wherever they please! I decided the only safe thing to do was go into the guest bedroom, close the door and try to forget about the eight-legged intruder. Oh, and although I know my friend, Diane, welcomes a tarantula every year into her home (whom she calls Manuel), this spider did not seem friendly like Manuel!
When I told my friends and family my predicament about that night, I received lots of (unhelpful) advice. My grandson said I should have put on a pair of shoes, swatted the spider off the wall with a magazine and then stomped on it. Okay, but what if it fell on me? Or ran away? My neighbor said I should have had a stiff drink and put the empty glass over the spider and then slipped a piece of paper on top of the glass and let the beast loose outside. Really? Who wants to be fooling around with a glass, paper and live spider in the middle of the night?
I am not alone with my fear of spiders. Psychologists claim that one in three people on the planet are frightened of arachnids. And another third of the population find spiders “disgusting.” Okay, so I guess my phobia is common. My terror of spiders started when I was a child. My father took me to see a movie about a mad scientist that kept injecting a spider with something to make it huge. Bad idea! It kept growing and growing until it was a monster. Finally, it ate scientist.
Back to my spidey. After a toss-and-turn sort of night, I had to “face the music” in the morning. Or, in my case, “face the spider” that had now moved to a baseboard in the hallway. I did the “glass trick” (without the stiff drink) and captured the critter and let him loose outside. Far away from the house.
My husband would be smiling at my “composure.” Grief is like a tangled web of emotions. Just when you think you can handle life, a spider has to show up. As if to shout, “See if you can do this!” Yep, another lesson to creep calm and carry on.
Judy Bluhm is a writer and a local realtor. Contact Judy at [email protected] or visit www.aroundthebluhmintown.com.
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